


More Than Found

by 50tabsoffanfiction



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: ADD character, Asexuality, Awkward family diners, Bipolar Connor, Bisexuality, Connor and Evan are sure acting gay, F/M, Father and sons playing catch, Gen, I added their ship tag, If this continues I might just add their relationship tag?, Jared and Michael are friends from summer camp, Jenna is pretty cool friend, Lgbt talk, M/M, Michael is the dungeon master, Nerds playing d&d, Suicide attempt mentioned, Theatre kids being nerds, Trees...lots of trees, step-brothers au, tags to be added with chapters, texts, yes gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11878776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50tabsoffanfiction/pseuds/50tabsoffanfiction
Summary: Heidi remerries Mr Heere, making Evan and Jeremy stepbrothers. Based on edenleicester's auTechnically I'm ignoring the canon events of the musicals. The squip never happened, and neither did the pretending.So Evan is in his senior year and Jeremy is in his junior year, just like during the musicals. If you want to pin point the time line, it would be right after the play, if the squip hadn't happened for be more chill, so the same thing goes since its the same school year for the Dear Evan Hansen if the pretend friendship didn't happen. Does that make sense? It will with more chapters if it doesn't make sense now





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [edenleicester](http://edenleicester.tumblr.com/)'s stepbrother au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is that what you're wearing?" Jeremy asked.
> 
> "Do I look okay?" Joe twirled around to let his son get a better look of his date outfit. He wore a dark brown blazer over a blue dress shirt. Luckily he even remembered to put on a pair of pants.
> 
> Jeremy shrugged. "You don't look like your life is falling apart, so that's a great start. Where are you taking her?"
> 
> "I'm taking her to a simple dinner." Joe said.
> 
> Heidi met Joe outside a modest restaurant. She wasn't dressed in anything fancy. She worn her only clean button up shirt and jeans. Joe looked at her as if she was wearing a cocktail dress. He smiled widely when she approached him, and for the rest of the evening his eyes remained on her. He gave her a single rose.
> 
> "You look absolutely lovely," Joe had said.
> 
> Joe didn't look bad either. He worn dark brown blazer over a blue dress shirt. He looked like a college professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on [edenleicester's step brother au](http://edenleicester.tumblr.com/post/162115850981/stepbrother-au-yes), it's just a pure and good au, deserving of a fanfic.
> 
> Since there was no mention of Mr Heere's name in the musical, I'm using Joe short for Joseph.

At Heeres household Mr Heere was preparing for his first date since his divorce. Jeremy was in his room with Michael. The two teens were playing video games.

"Hey, Jeremy," Michael smirked as he pressed a button on his controller, "heads up!"

"You fucking slut!" Jeremy yelled as he failed to avoid a bomb Michael threw at him.

The bomb exploded in his characters face, and Jeremy stared at Michael. Michael laughed like a disney villian as his character moved further away from Jeremy's.

"I hope you fall off the track and die." Jeremy said once his character recovered from the blast.

Michael only laughed harder. After Michael won Jeremy stood up in anger. He paced the room cursing.

"No! I do not accept this!"

"Hahaha, come on dude! You lost!" Michael scooted closer to his friend. "The deal was a deal!"

"Best three out of five!" Jeremy pointed at Michael.

"Jeremy!" Mr Heere's voice sounded off from the other room.

"I am not putting pineapples on a pizza, Michael!"

"JEREMY!"

"This is not over, Mell." Jeremy went to grab the door knob, eyes fixed on Michael.

"We're converting to last names? Really?"

"Yes, dad?"

"I'll wait Heere then." Jeremy ignored Michael's use of his own last name as a pun.

Joe Heere was hunched over a couch, turning around the cushions.

"Have you seen my wallet?" Joe said as he streched, hands on his back. Jeremy didn't have time to answer before Mr Heere exclaimed that he found his wallet. Wallet was laying on the TV stand.

"Is that what you're wearing?" Jeremy asked.

"Do I look okay?" Joe twirled around to let his son get a better look of his date outfit. He wore a dark brown blazer over a blue dress shirt. Luckily he even remembered to put on a pair of pants.

Jeremy shrugged. "You don't look like your life is falling apart, so that's a great start. Where are you taking her?"

"I'm taking her to a simple dinner." Joe said. "Now Michael will be staying the night?"

"Yeah?" Jeremy said.

"Sure am!" Michael yelled from inside Jeremy's room.

Joe opened up his wallet to leave the boys some money for the pizza. He handed the money to Jeremy. He told them he will return in few hours, and that he expected the place to still be standing in one place by then.

"Did you get pineapple pizza money?" Michael wiggled his eyebrows.

"I got _pizza_ money." Jeremy said, "And you said best three out of five."

"Actually,  _you_ said that. I didn't agree to it." Michael shrugged and picked up the controllers. "But I am going to get you to eat pineapples on a pizza. One way or another."

Michael won again, and Jeremy still refused to call the pizza parlour and order the pineapple pizza. Jeremy stood on his tip toes, hand stretched out up, holding the phone high above Michael's reach.

"You're gonna like it! I swear!" Michael insisted as he jumped into the air, trying to get Jeremy to lower the phone.

"But it feels _so_ wrong!"

"Listen Heere. We agreed. Winner picks the topping. I won and I pick pineapple."

"I'm gonna change my name." Jeremy begrudgingly gave Michael the phone, "That way you can't use it as a pun."

"No, you won't." Michael dialed the pizza parlour and ordered the pizza he wanted.

The boys didn't have to wait long for the door bell rang, announcing the pizza's arrival. Michael excitedly raced to the door, while Jeremy sagged his feet. Michael took the pizza box to Jeremy's bedroom, leaving Jeremy to pay for it.

Michael was sitting on Jeremy's bed, pizza box next to him. Jeremy's bed was the kind that doubles as a couch. The room always felt messy because of its small size. Desk was on the opposite side from the bed, and the blinds blocked any light from the outside. The walls were painted metallic grey, and all the furniture were either beige or black, to add life to the room. Few posters were hanging on the walls. Some figurines decorated the shelf. Pile of papers flooded the desk and few were already making their place on the floor. CD stand occupied the corner close to the door and the desk. Next to the stand was a stack of DVDs that couldn't fit in it. The computer displayed a screen saver massage bouncing around "Jeremy is Heere". Jeremy was meaning to change it, since he was 12, but he was too lazy to.

Jeremy sat on his bed, suspiciously eyeing the pizza box. He carefully took one slice. Michael was already eating his second. Jeremy slowly took a bite. That one bite of the slice sent him straight to the fridge to find some leftovers.

"COWARD!" Michael yelled after him.

Michael had no trouble finishing the entire pizza, even the slice Jeremy tried to eat. Jeremy on the other hand whipped out two days old macaroni and cheese. When it was getting late Jeremy suggested they should watch a movie. They made the couch into the bed, chose a movie and prepared for bed. Michael changed into his sleeping shirt, and Jeremy put on his pyjamas. Michael made himself comfortable on Jeremy's now made bed, wrapped in a blanket. Jeremy started the movie. He joined Michael as the logos started appearing on the screen.

Michael fell asleep during the movie. Jeremy was too lazy to get up and turn down the volume. If Michael fell asleep to the noise, than the movie sounds wouldn't bothered him. Just as Jeremy was about to fall asleep, he heard a click of the front door lock. He strained his ears to hear the faint footsteps. Door to his room slowly opened. The bluish light from the computer screen illuminated Joe Heere's face.

"You two alseep?" he asked in a whisper. 

"Just about." Jeremy whispered back.

"What are you watchin'?" Joe turned his head to get a better look of the movie.

On the screen Jack Black was encouraging kids to rock out. 

"School of Rock." Jeremy said. 

"When are you planing to sleep?" 

"As soon as it ends. It's almost over." 

"Alright." Joe said as he closed the door. "Good night."

* * *

 

"Hey, honey." Heidi Hansen said, "How was your day? Did your teacher like your report on French history?"

"It was okay."

The Hansens sat at the dinning table eating some take out Heidi brought home. She apologised for not having time to prepare a meal for her son, but Evan said he didn't mind. Chinese food tasted good. Heidi picked up the empty dirty dishes and went to the kitchen to wash them. Hansens's apartment was small, and their kitchen doubled as a dinning room. To anyone else, Heidi seemed her usual normal self, but Evan noticed his mother humming as she washed the plates. She only didi that if something exciting was going on in her life. Last time Evan heard his mother sing to her self was when she got into the community law school.

"You seem cheery." Evan noted.

"It's nothing." Heidi quickly changed the topic back to Evan, asking him all about his classes.

Heidi returned home late on a school day. Evan was on his laptop, so he heard Heidi's light footsteps. She was humming a soft tune and Evan quickly closed his laptop and pushed it to the side. When Hiedi opened the door to Evan's bedroom, the teen pretended to be asleep.

"I know you are awake." Heidi said, "I saw the light coming from your room when I came in."

Evan didn't move.

Heidi sighed and closed the door. "You better be sleeping!"

In the morning Evan noticed a single rose in a vase in the kitchen. He didn't have time to wonder where it came from before he went to school.

Evan didn't saw his mum much before the weekend. During the work day she was either working, at school or sleeping. If they had a conversation during the work day it was brief with maybe four sentences passed in between them. Saturday was the day of house chores and Sunday was the rest day. On Saturdays the Hansens would start the day by doing groceries together.

In the shops they would discuss their week, their immediate plans for the next week. Heidi would remind Evan about his future doctor appointments. This Saturday Heidi Hansen seemed a bit distant. As if she wanted to tell Evan something, but wasn't sure how to approach the topic. Evan noticed his mother spacing out, but he too was unsure if he should ask her about it or not. Last time he did she waved him off and insisted it was nothing. Maybe this was the same thing. He wasn't sure, but he didn't want to upset his mother even more. Evan put a cereal box into the trolly.

Back home Evan noticed that in the vase there were now two roses. He turned to his mum and asked her about the flowers. Heidi immediately tensed up, so Evan blurted out strings of apologies.

"I'm sorry. It's fine, you don't need to tell me. I'm sorry I asked."

"No, baby," Heidi Hansen placed a hand on her son's shoulder. "It's fine. I've been meaning to tell you- It's just. I didn't know how to-"

Evan relaxed in his mother's touch. Heidi smiled at her son. She took a deep breath and lead her son to the couch. On the couch the Hansens had their most serious conversations.

"There's a guy." Heidi started the story slowly.

She told Evan how she met this charming man.

The man interrupted one of the lectures she was in. He apologiesed to the class and took the professor away. Heidi still didn't know what was wrong, but the professor dissmissed the class to deal with some private matter. Heidi noticed the guy more and more. He was clearly not a law student, she or no one else ever saw him in class. He bumped into her one day in the hospital. His son was there. The boy was around Evan's age, a year younger. The man started conversation with Heidi. She learnt that he was a lawyer. A divorce lawyer to be precise. She learnt that he was charming, and had a lovely sense of humour. Most importantly she learnt that he deeply cared for his son, and that he understood the difficulties of being a single parent. They exchanged phone information and decided to stay in touch. He gave her a single rose when his son was checking out of the hospital.

"It was his way of asking me out," Heidi smiled as she remembered the moment.

Heidi wasn't sure if she should accept the rose.

"My son, Jeremy. He said I should move on. It's been too long." the charming man had said. "You do not have to say yes. And you have my number so you don't have to say anything right now."

Heidi took the rose, she could feel her face growing red. She told him she would think about it. He smiled and nodded. He wished her well, and went out of sight. Leaving Heidi alone to her thoughts.

"I haven't really gone on a date since-" Heidi left 'since your father left' unsaid, but Evan could still hear the words.

Evan sat silent, not knowing what to say. Heidi never dated anyone after his father left them. She never shown intrest in anyone. The silence felt awkward. Evan felt awkward. He didn't like it when things got awkward. He felt as if he needed to say something. Anything.

"So? What did you say?" Evan's voice was hoarse and dry.

"I said yes." Heidi answered looking down at her hands.

She had met Joe, the charming man, outside a modest restaurant. She hadn't been dressed in anything fancy,. She had worn her only clean button up shirt and jeans. Joe looked at her as if she was wearing a cocktail dress. He had smiled widely when she approached him, and for the rest of the evening his eyes remained on her.

"You look absolutely lovely," Joe had said.

Joe hadn't looked bad either. He had worn dark brown blazer over a blue dress shirt. He had looked like a college professor.

Heidi looked at her son. Evan looked so small, even if he occupied half of the couch. He had grown into a fine young man, and Heidi was proud of him, but he looked so unsure and scared. Hunched over, looking straight down the floor. He was big, yet so small.

"We went on that one date." Heidi continued," And it was. Amazing. He was charming, polite. Funny."

"Do you think you'll see him again?" Evan asked.

"Maybe? I hope so." Heidi gave a soft nudge jerking Evan, "You know you'll always be the most important man in my life. Always!"

Evan gave a thin smile, but the smile faltered quickly.

"We should continue sorting out the groceries." Evan announced, moving quickly away from the couch.

Heidi followed her son. She wondered if her relationship with Joe would get serious enough for him and Evan to meet, and she imagined how that meeting would go.

Would Evan ran away from a simple handshake. Would Joe ran away once he realises how different Evan is from his peers. Evan was getting better at dealing with his anxiety, and his medications seemed to help him, but he was still. Heidi wouldn't say shy. Evan was not shy. He was scared. He was scared of making mistakes. He was scared of pushing people away. Heidi was scared too. She was scared Evan might never get better. She was worried for her son. If he doesn't get better, he will never be independent young man she knew he could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok yea... will I ever finish a fanfic before starting another? I don't think so...


	2. First Family Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hello, I'm Heidi's son. Evan," he said. 
> 
> Evan was mentally preparing for this night for a week. Ever since Heidi had told him about the diner. She wanted to introduce Evan to her boyfriend. That was enough to freak him out, but the guy also had a son.
> 
> "Hi. My name is Evan. I'm Heidi's son."
> 
> Evan splashed some water on his face. He took a deep breath. He counted his breathing. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. He repeated the breathing exercise his therapist showed him until he was finally able to look at his reflection again.
> 
> "Hello! Hi. My name is Evan. The name's Evan."
> 
> He had hours before his mom comes home from work, and takes him to the diner. He made himself smile, which was a lot harder to do than it need to be.
> 
>  
> 
> "Hi. I'm Evan. It's so nice- nice to meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my....i updated??

"Can I barrow the car?" Jeremy yelled through the house as he picked up the car keys.

Jeremy planned on going to Jake's house. He had to pick up Michael and Christine first, and for that he needed the car.

Joe Heere emerged from the kitchen drying a salad bowl. Before Joe had time to ask his son anything Jeremy already listed where he's going; to Jake's house; who's going to be there; Jake, Rich, Brooke, Chloe, and of course Michael and Christine; what they will be doing; just casually hanging out since Rich was finally done with physical therapy. The gang decided they needed to chill out together to celebrate.

"You didn't forget that we are meeting Heidi and her son at 8?"

"No, no, no. Of course I remember." Jeremy lied. He completely forgot. "I'll just meet you outside the restaurant."

Joe and Heidi had been dating for a couple of months. When teens or young adults start to get serious, they introduce their partner to their parents. In contrast when single parents start to get serious they introduce their partner to their children. Joe talked a lot about Heidi to his son. Jeremy already knew Heidi, as nurse Hansen, but he hadn't seen her since she and Joe started going out. Joe also spoke a lot about how wonderful it would be if Jeremy got along with Heidi's son. Jeremy could tell his dad really liked Heidi Hansen.

"So?" Jeremy waved the keys, "Can I borrow the car?"

Joe gave Jeremy the car keys, after warning his son to put an alarm on his phone to remind him about the diner. He also told him to put the name and address of the restaurant in the phone. Jeremy had few hours before the diner date, so Joe wasn't worried.

 

* * *

 

Evan stood in front of a mirror.

"Hello, I'm Heidi's son. Evan," he said.

He was mentally preparing for this night for a week. Ever since Heidi had told him about the diner. She wanted to introduce Evan to her boyfriend. That was enough to freak him out, but the guy also had a son.

"Hi. My name is Evan. I'm Heidi's son."

He took a deep breath. He counted his breathing. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. He repeated the breathing exercise his therapist showed him until he was finally able to look at his reflection again.

"Hello! Hi. My name is Evan. The name's Evan."

He had hours before his mom comes home from work, and takes him to the diner. He made himself smile, which was a lot harder to do than it needed to be.

"Hi. I'm Evan. It's so nice- nice to meet you."

He felt like he was going to puke. He splashed some water on his face. He wasn't sure how he was going to do this. He was supposed to go to meet two new people. In public restaurant. What if he orderes something and everyone judges him for it? What if he pukes. He puked at the restaurant once already. He was nine and it was in Chuck E. Cheese. At a birthday party he was invited to.

He stepped out of the bathroom. He couldn't do it. He was pathetic. He ran his fingers through his hair. Evan remembered what his therapist said about overthinking. He could write down his thoughts and emotions, and sort them out. He prompted his laptop on the dining table

" _Dear, Evan Hansen_ ," he typed. " _Your mom is dating again, which is great for her. She needs-_ "

Evan stopped. He clicked backspace few times and continued. " _She deserves to be happy. You do too._ "

He stared at the blinking dash, trying to process what he wanted to say. This was too difficult for him.

" _Meeting new people is hard. It's unpredictable, and scary, and you can't avoid it. You just get thrown into life as if it's a fish tank, and everyone around you knows what they are doing. What to say, what to wear. How to act, and you are there clueless. At the bottom of the fish tank. Trying to speak, but only bubbles form and you feel water going in your lungs. Yet you are expected to act like everyone else, know what you are doing and doing it."_

Evan took a deep breath. Once he started writing, he was stuck in the negative mindset and it was swirling out of control. He had to take it back and convice himself he was not a pathetic human being he felt he was.

 _"But-_ " He typed, but he deleted the word. He looked at the clock. It barely passed minutes since his mirror practice. He couldn't think of a positive spin. He tried a different approach.

What's the worst thing that could happen? He could puke, and Heeres could hate him, and Heidi could get dumped because of him and she would then be mad at him and- and he could ruin one good thing that happened to his mother in a long time. She'd been the happiest she's ever been in the past two months since dating this guy. Evan didn't want to ruin it by being himself.

What's the best thing that could happen? Best thing would be if Heeres liked him. If the boyfriend's son and he become friends. That would be nice.

What's the most likely thing that could happen? Nothing.

Evan couldn't think of the diner anymore, he needed a distraction. He opened his Facebook chat with Jared.

 

* * *

 

Jeremy laughed. He loved his friends and he loved being in the theatre club.

Christine had a great idea of filming few short videos, she was the director. Michael was the camera. Everyone else were actors. Videos that Christine had came up with were mostly relatable and fun. One of the videos they filmed together was Rich's coming out. He actually came out to everyone in the theater club by jumping out of supply closet in school, but he wanted to make a video about his sexuality.

For the video they had Brooke and Rich sitting by the fireplace, holding hands, and acting like they are in love. Jeremy was out of shot watching as Chloe came up to the couple.

"So you like her?" Chloe asked teasingly.

"Yes." Rich said.

Jeremy chuckled at the idea of Brooke and Rich being together.

"Who wants to be the boyfriend? Jake, Jeremy?" Christine asked during the cut.

Jake and Jeremy looked at each other. Jeremy knew there was nothing wrong with not being straight. Theatre club had helped him deal with inner homophobia a little, but he still didn't want to be in homoromantic scene in front of camera. He was uncomfortable. Jake raised his hand.

"I'll be the boyfriend!"

"Okay, I vote we move the shot to another room," Michael said.

"Bedroom?" Rich asked.

Jeremy laughed. He loved his friends.

"Don't be ridiculous, Rich." Christine said, "we still need Chloe to come up to you guys."

"I don't mind if we shoot in the bedroom." Jake said.

"How about the game room? By the pool table?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah! That way Jake can wrap his arms around Rich, like in those romcoms!" Brooke said.

"I vote for the pool table idea." Jeremy raised his hand.

"I second." Michael said,"I already have a good angle in mind."

"Ok so we are doing it on a pool table." Christine winced as soon as she said it.

"Doing it on a pool table. Hot," Rich repeated. Jake whistled. Everyone laughed.

"The scene! I ment the scene!"

That's when Jeremy's phone rang. His dad was calling him. Shit. He didn't hear his alarm. He was late.

"I have to go." Jeremy said as he hurriedly tried to find everything he brought with him.

"What? Now?" Christine asked.

"Yeah. I'm meeting my dad, and his new girlfriend for diner."

Everyone wished him luck. Michael and Christine arranged their rides back with Brooke and Jake. Jeremy regreted not staying to see Jake and Rich acting as a couple together, but he had to leave.

 

* * *

 

Evan massaged his palm. Heidi and he were walking towards the restaurant. All the way she had been trying to distract his thoughts by talking about some book she read.

Heidi waved to someone. Evan looked up and saw a man. He looked as if all his hair decided it's gonna move to his beard. He was tall.

"Joe!" Heidi smiled.

"Heidi!" The man outside the restaurant, or Joe, smiled at Heidi. He looked at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Joe, I'd like you to meet my son. Evan." Heidi said as she wrapped one arm around Evan. "Evan, this is Joe."

Evan was relieved his mother introduced him, because he felt knots forming in his stomach. His legs were made out of jello. He wanted to go inside and sit down, or better yet go home. To his room. To his bed. Where he wasn't expected to talk to other people.

"Heidi has told me so much about you." Joe pulled out his hand. It took a moment for Evan to realise that he was trying initiate a handshake. Evan hoped that his hands weren't as sweaty as he feared.

"She talked about you too." He said nervously.

"Jeremy is going to be a bit late." Joe said, "He called me to apologise. He was with friends and lost track of time."

He was with friends? Of course. The guy probably didn't want to meet him. He was probably having fun with his friends, trying to avoid this diner. Evan knew he was going to ruin this diner. He really wished he was back in his room.

"Should we wait for him outside?" Heidi asked.

"We could wait for him inside. It's too cold to stand around for who knows how long." Joe said. He was right. January night wasn't a best time for waiting for someone outside.

They all went inside. The restaurant seemed nice. It was warm and cozy, so Evan took off his jacket. The adults went to receptionist to ask for their table. Evan looked around the restaurant. It was a nice place, but it didn't seem too fancy. There were a lot of families sitting and eating. Few parents were trying to calm their screaming children. Evan felt sympathy for those screaming kids. He wished he could scream, but that would draw attention to himself. Attention was the last thing he wanted. He massaged his palm. He didn't realise he was holding his breath until his mom led him to their table.

 

* * *

 

Jeremy drove as fast as he could in the snow. He was careful enough not to get in an accident. His dad was already not happy that he was going to be late, at least he could do is not end up in a body bag. As soon as he parked the car Jeremy rushed in the restaurant.

"Reservation for Heere/Hansen?" Jeremy asked at the reception.

He speed walked to their table. Jeremy noticed his dad immediately. Accross him sat a petite blond woman. Jeremy recognised her as nurse Hansen. Next to her sat a boy with sandy blond hair. Jeremy assumed that must be nurse- Heidi Hansen's son.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Jeremy extended his hand to shake hands with both Hansens. "I'm Jeremy."

"Evan," the boy said quietly. He coughed and said with a bit more confidence, "My name is Evan."

Jeremy sat down next to his father. Joe gave him a look that silently sent a message _"We'll talk when we get home."_

Jeremy tried not to think of the diner as weird and awkward. After joining the theatre club he found a way to deal with awkward situations. He pretended he was on an improv exercise. Nothing he said could be wrong, it just added the flow of the scene. Heidi asked him questions about what his friends and he do for fun.

"We do a lot of acting. And filming." Jeremy said. "We were just filming. That's why I was late."

Heidi seemed intrested in why Jeremy liked acting, so he explained how it gave him confidence. Evan seemed to listen more than talk during the night. When he did talk it was either too quiet or simple one line answers. Jeremy understood how awkward he must have felt, so he didn'tthink much of it. The food was nice. The Hansen were nice. All and all the night was nice. At the end of the diner, Jeremy and Evan exchanged phone numbers.

In the car Joe gave Jeremy the lecture about paying attention to time, and why it was important to be on time. Jeremy half listened, only because he heard the lecture few times already. Joe grounded Jeremy with privileges to drive the car. Jeremy expected that so he didn't put up a fight.

 

* * *

 

 

" _Dear, Evan Hansen,_

_Your mom is dating again, which is great for her. She deserves to be happy. You do too. Meeting new people is hard. It's unpredictable, and scary, and you can't avoid it. You just get thrown into life as if it's a fish tank, and everyone around you knows what they are doing._

_What to say, what to wear. How to act, and you are there clueless. At the bottom of the fish tank. Trying to speak, but only bubbles form and you feel water going in your lungs. Yet you are expected to act like everyone else, know what you are doing and doing it._ "

Evan read what he had written before the diner. He wanted to finish the letter.

" _Meeting new people is hard, especially if they are going to stay in your life for a while. You do not know them, but the first time you see each other you are on a same blank page. It takes time to truly meet someone. You just have to make the effort to get to know the other person._

 _Truly, your best friend_  
_Me_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't expect me to update so fast...This was an anomaly. Normally I do not write this fast? But this is something I really wanted to write so I did it...
> 
> And yes I am referencing Thomas Sanders's vine about bisexuality


	3. Friendly hang out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back in black: i cant stand staying in  
> back in black: zoey just left for her date and IM BORED  
> back in black: lets go out  
> back in black: just us the guys  
> back in black: no dates no staying sober and no backing out
> 
> hacker voice: what did you hvae in pain  
> hacker voice: have* plqn*  
> hacker voice: plan**
> 
> valedictorian: Please be responsible and don't do anything that will end in jail time
> 
> hacker voice: is it okay if i bring my friend michael?
> 
>  
> 
> player 2: im going out with Jared from camp and his friends... i know this is last minute, but you could join us?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently on a summer vacation with bad net and i am uploading this by stealing internet from a near by restaurant at 1am

Jeremy groaned into his pillow. He was ready for the day to be over. It's not that today was a particular bad day, but it wasn't good either. It was numb, and uncomfortable. It was Valentine's day, and Jeremy was without a Valentine.

He did date Christine, for a month and a half. He'd asked her out on a date after he got out of the hospital. His father's courage to ask nurse Hansen gave him the push to finally confess his feelings to Christine. They had gone on few dates and everything felt find. It was a slow relationship, and throughout the month and a half that they've been dating they never even kissed. Jeremy was fine with waiting. He'd never kissed a girl before, so he'd be lying if he didn't say he was nervous. He wanted to wait for the right time.

Jeremy ignored buzz of the incoming text messages on his phone. He already knew who they were from. Michael had offered to stay over the night, but Jeremy refused. It was one thing to be single on the day for lovers, and it was another thing to spend it with a best friend. He felt small. Pathetic. He always spent this holiday with Michael anyway. Jeremy wanted to be alone this year. In his mind Jeremy replayed the break up.

Christine pulled him after class. She lead him to their lockers. Jeremy kept imagining their kiss. Maybe this is how their first kiss will be. After school. By the lockers. Maybe on the bus? Will Christine initiate or should he do it? His mind was racing as Christine held his hand. He liked holding her hand. She was his anchor, not letting him wonder in his fantasy too long. He didn't want to daydream now that she was right in front of him.

Christine kept looking at her feet. At her locker. At the wall. At everyone and everything, but Jeremy. She was proboscis just shy. Jeremy felt his own face flushing red. He couldn't help blushing when he's nervous. Christine was making him nervous. Will she kiss him? Should he kiss her? His palms were sweating. His heart was racing. He had to say something before he explodes.

"I-" Christine said just when Jeremy opend his mouth to say, "So-"

"You go first." Christine said.

"No, no. You go first." Jeremy said.

Air around the couple was awkward. Jeremy forgot about his ideas for his and Christine's first kiss. Christine took a deep breath. She looked up at Jeremy with her beautiful brown eyes. She was worried.

"I've been talking to Rich a lot lately." she said.

A lot. With Rich. Jeremy felt a knot tying inside his stomach. He felt as if a rug had been pulled under his feet. His legs were weak, and it took everything for Jeremy to keep them rooted on the ground so that he wouldn't fall on his face.

"I was curious about. Well about him being bi." She explained, keeping her voice down in case someone overhears. Rich had only come out to the theatre club and told them all not to spread it around school. He was still dealing with the rumours that Jenna made about him after the Halloween party.

"How he knew. What made him realise it."

Jeremy wasn't sure where this speech was going, but he didn't like it. His hands started shaking.

"He explained how he experiences sexual attraction, and everything." She waved her hands and furrowed her brows. "The more he talked about sex and attraction the less I understood what he was talking about."

"You are a good guy. I like you. You are kind. Nice, sweet. You are really easy to talk to. You- what was I talking about again?"

"You were saying how much you liked me?" Jeremy awkwardly chuckled. He was dreading her speech would end their relationship. She looked too unsure of her words and yet she seemed as if she practiced the speech. Jeremy was hoping he was reading into the conversation wrong. He was hoping he was projecting his fears and anxiety onto Christine's words.

"I do like you. But."

But. Jeremy had to remind himself to breathe. He urged his eyes not to tear up. He couldn't cry. Not here. Not now. Not infront of Christine. His lips trembled. His eyes felt heavy. He bit his tongue. He couldn't let himself cry now.

"I feel like I need to find myself. Talking to Rich made me realise I don't experience sexual attraction like he does. I am not even sure what sexual attraction is, if I'm honest. Like how can someone look at someone else and think 'I have to put my body against yours'? I don't understand." Christine said, "And I want to understand. At least who I am. And for that I need to be alone. I'm sorry, Jeremy."

He cried when he got home that day. He cried to Michael. He cried to his dad, and he cried himself to sleep. Christine broke his heart. She didn't mean to, and Jeremy knew that. He was aware she had no intentions to hurt Jeremy, and in a long run it was better she told him how she felt early than never. Still feelings and heartache don't listen to logic.

They did remain friends. Sure Jeremy was hurt and currently mopping in his bed two weeks after the break up, but he respected Christine's feelings and her decision not to date him. She had every right to not want to be in a relationship as much as Jeremy had every right to emote. He still liked her, and if he couldn't have a romantic relationship with her he wanted to maintain their friendship. He could learn to move on. His phone buzzed with more messages from Michael that went ignored. Jeremy wanted to be left alone and he will reply to Michael when he isn't an emotional mess.

 

* * *

 

 

 **back in black:** i cant stand staying in  
**back in black:** zoey just left for her date and IM BORED  
**back in black:** lets go out

 **valedictorian:** I have a date too

 **back in black:** just us the guys  
**back in black:** no dates no staying sober and no backing out

 **hacker voice:** what did you hvae in pain  
**hacker voice:** have* plqn*  
**hacker voice:** plan**

 **valedictorian:** Please be responsible and don't do anything that will end in jail time  
**valedictorian:** or worse

Evan was thinking how he should respond to Connor's invitation.

It was only a week since Connor was released from hospital. He spent months in mental hospital after a suicide attempt back in September. Alana thought it would be a good idea to reach Connor and his family. To show Connor that he is not alone and to help him in any way they can. Since Connor had signed Evan's cast before he tried to kill himself Alana came to him first, assuming he and Connor were close. Connor's family also reached out to Evan, to give him Connor's apology for blowing up on him at school. At school some kids started a rumour that he and Connor were dating, but truth was they had enough conversations that Evan could count them on one hand. Thankfully people lost intrest in the story after Evan took his cast off with Connor's name signed on it.

Alana created a group chat for Evan and Zoey and her, so that Zoey could bring her phone and give to Connor while she visited him so that he could stay in touch with his peers from class. Keeping him up to speed with school work and school drama. Soon enough Jared came along and he gave everyone nicknames in the chat.

 **valedictorian:** Also I don't think it's wise for you to be drinking on your meds, Connor

 **back in black:** fine we wont drink

A full minute later Connor promised he will not smoke either. He also called Alana a killjoy. Evan was still trying to understand Connor. From the months he spent chatting with him and getting to know him, he found out that Connor had a very dark sense of humor and he loved being sarcastic. Which made chatting with him very difficult to do over texts. Since his release Evan had much better luck determining when Connor was serious. Evan was mostly sure that Connor was joking when he said they would get wasted.

 **hacker voice:** seriously connie whats the plan

 **back in black:** i was thinking we could go to the cinema watch romcom and throw popcorn at happy couples

 

i dont want to get thrown out

 

 **back in black:** the cpuples wont notice a thing!  
**back in black:** they will be too busy sucking face to notice popcorn flying at them

 **hacker voice:** is it okay if i bring my friend michael?

from camp?

 **hacker voice:** yea him

 **back in black:** i already said no dates

 **hacker voice:** michael isnt my boyfriend  
**hacker voice:** hes just hhaving a lousy day and i thought this antivalentines day could cheer him up

 **back in black:** you sure youre not crushing? ;)

is the michael the one who threw away his blankets or the one who hid in the bathroom for the most of the camp

 **hacker voice:** not crushing  
**hacker voice:** bayhroom  
**hacker voice:** trust me vmcon hes a gopd gyu who is down on his kuck

 **back in black:** too many typos kleinman  
**back in black:** but fine  
**back in black:** you can invite your boyfriend but keep pda to the minimum

 

* * *

 

Jeremy felt guilty for ignoring Michael's texts. Michael was just trying to be a good friend, and check up on him. He was feeling rather lousy about himself, and Michael had every right to be worried about him. Jeremy picked up his phone. He scrolled back into their conversation.

 **player 2:** i can be at your place in1 0 just say the word

id rather be alone rn

 **player 2:** u sure??  
**player 2:** i could bring the matrix and icecream?  
**player 2:** keanue reeves and chocolate icecream... sound good?

Jeremy felt like a shitty friend for ignoring Michael. Michael had a really good idea. Keanue Reeves always managed to get Jeremy out of bad mood. He loved Michael. As a friend. Michael knew how to cheer Jeremy up, even if he refuses to be cheered up. Jeremy hated it as much as he loved it. He scrolled down the messages.

 **player 2:** no answer? okay im guessing you are mopping and crying out Christine's name in your pillow  
**player 2:** im gonna leave you alone to deal through  
**player 2:** just know im just a text or a call away  
**player 2:** oH remember to drink water after youve done crying...dont dehydrate

Jeremy wiped his face with a sleeve of his hoodie. He smiled. He debated if he should call Michael or text him back. Michael deserved some kind of reply from him. A simple thank you for worrying or I love you. Maybe not I love you on a Valentine's day. That could be weird. Maybe. Would it? Yes, it would. Valentine's day is for lovers. Romantic partnerships. Confessions of crushes. Not for saying I love you to your best friend of twelve years. He read through last few texts.

 **player 2:** im going out with Jared from camp and his friends... i know this is last minute, but you could join us?  
**player 2:** You in? Yes? No?  
**player 2:** Okie Dokie... txt me when ure redy to talk, because im literally at the cinems rn

Jeremy checked the time stamp before composing a message. The message was sent an hour ago. Michael was probably still at the cinema, or if he wasn't he was still with Jared and other people.

im fine now.. gonna binge watch breaking bad and go to sleep  
have fun with Jared

 

* * *

 

 

Evan stood infront of mall's cinema, checking his phone every other second. Were they meeting here or did Connor ment outside the mall's building. Was he late? He checked the group chat to see where exactly Connor said they should meet. Outside the cinema entrance there were happy couples waiting in line for either popcorn or movie tickets.

Evan felt awkward standing there alone. He was sure some poeple were judging him. He was alone, in the cinema surrounded by couples. He stood out as odd. He did not belong. He checked his phone again. Would it be weird if he sent a text to Jared or Connor to see where they were. He opened messaging app and stared at the keyboard. He didn't want to bother either of them. He closed the app. Looked around to see if he could spot someone he knew. No one. Evan felt alone in the crowd. Besides the couples in line only other person at the cinema was a guy with his headphones on. The teen was ignoring everyone around him and stared at his phone, occasionally taking a sip of milk shake. Evan wondered if the boy was waiting for a date, which he probably is. The boy, despite ignoring his surroundings, seemed pretty cool and layed back. He probably had tons of friends and a cute date for Valentine's day. Evan looked back at his phone.

 **back in black:** im at the mall, be up in a min

 **hacker voice:** the bus is so slow!! gonna be there in about 10 mins  
**hacker voice:** michael just texted me that he is there

 **back in black:** im up

Evan texted the group where he was and looked up. He saw Connor getting out from the elevator. Evan waved. Connor swaggered over.

"Hope you haven't waited long." Connor greeted him.

"I didn't. No, I- I just arrived here myself."

"So- do you know how does this Jared's 'friend' look like?"

"I haven't met Michael. I saw few group pictures when Jared came back from the camp. But I don't know how he looks like. Michael. Not Jared. Of course I know how Jared looks like."

"Evan. Relax. It's just me."

Evan's heart was beating so much that he could feel it in his throught. He wondered if people around him could hear his heart jumping around. Loud bumps filled Evan's ears. Connor's hair grew longer while he was in the hospital. He was tying it back into a low ponytail. His wardrobe was still all black. He painted his nails dark purple. Evan noticed that Connor started painting his nails different colours every other day. It was nice. Last Thursday they were red. Evan took a deep breath.

"You don't have to impress me." Connor said as he typed something into his phone. "I already know exactly how lame you are."

Connor pressed the phone to his ear. He quickly explained to Evan that Jared gave him Michael's number.

"Hi, is this Michael? ...I'm Jared's friend, Connor. We're outside the cinema. Where are you?"

Connor looked around the crowd as Evan followed his gaze. It wasn't difficult to spot single boy on his phone. It was the same boy Evan had seen earlier and assumed he was waiting for a date. The boy had his headphones around his neck as he talked on the phone.

"I see you." Connor said as he waved, getting the boy's attention.

"I'm Connor." Connor said with ease as he shook Michael's hand.

When Evan introduced himself he felt his chest close up. He was sure he messed up his words. As he shook Michael's hand he wanted to puke. He wasn't even sure what he had said to Michael anymore. His stomach was tying itself into knots.

Connor and Michael shared funny or embarrassing stories about Jared. Evan didn't know what story to add to the conversation, not because there were so many times that Jared did something embarrassing, but because Evan was drawing a blank. Around Evan, Jared always seemed cool and put together. Not a geeky science nerd Michael knew from camp, or an embarrassing meme lover Connor knew. Connor and Michael already became good friends when Jared arrived. Jared was not pleased with their newly formed friendship.

As the commercials were playing on the screen Michael quickly typed something in his phone. Connor picked the movie. Some cliche romcom. Evan noticed the way that cashier looked at them. She probably suspected that they were on double date. Jared and Michael ate all popcorn during the commercials, so Connor actually had to pay attention to the movie rather than disturbing the peace. Evan liked movie hang outs. Talking to others was shunned. He could enjoy the movie without worrying if people would judge him for the way he talked. If Connor didn't have to yell at the screen every time a character did something stupid, it would have been heaven. Since it was a cliche romcom characters did something stupid in almost every scene.

After the movie Connor insisted that they should spend even more time away home.

"I swear if I have to stay another minute inside four walls I'm gonna kill myself." Connor said, "I'm sick of sitting around doing nothing."

"Same here." Michael said. "I needed to get out. My room was driving me insane."

"Speaking of which. If you don't mind me asking, what got you in such a bad mood that Jared had to drag you out to socialise?"

"You don't have to tell them if you don't want to."Jared said.

"It's fine. My... uhmm... The guy I like just got out of a relationship and he was ignoring me all day." Michael said.

"You're gay?" Evan asked.

"I don't wear rainbow patches just because I like Pink Floyd." Michael said. Evan noticed the rainbow patches on Michael's hoodie, but he didn't want to assume anything.

Evan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Whoever was calling him picked the perfect time, giving Evan the perfect excuse to leave without being rude.

**Mom ICE calling**

Of course it was his mom. Heidi just wanted to check up on him, to see where he was and what he was doing. Evan lied to his friends saying she was calling him home.

At home Heidi was sitting at the dining table. She was staring at a small box. Twirling it around. Evan sat next to her. Entire apartment was silent.

 

* * *

 

Jeremy was about to press the next episode button when his phone rang. He didn't have to check the ID to know it was Michael, since he had a special ringtone for Michael- Super Mario theme song.

"Hey, Michael."

"Jeremy!" Michael's voice came a bit slow, like he was high. "You done with mopping over Christine?"

"Kinda." Before Jeremy could say anything else Michael was laughing on the other side. Few voices talked behind Michael. "Where are you?"

"I'm with...Jared and Connor... Heaven left." Voices in the background said something and Michael giggled. "Yeah him. He left."

"Connor took us to-" Jeremy couldn't pay attention to Michael's story. He was too focused on hearing Michael's voice. After day he had, just hearing Michael's voice improved his mood. Which made Jeremy feel like shit since he'd been actively avoiding Michael today. When he avoided Michael it seemed as if it was a rational choice, but now Jeremy didn't want to stop listening to Michael.

Jeremy heard a click of the front door unlocking. He didn't want to interrupt Michael, so he ignored his dad's footsteps. He could listen to Michael's voice for hours. It didn't matter what his best friend was talking about as long as Jeremy listened to him. Jeremy couldn't describe how comforting Michael sounded. It was warm and safe. With heavy heart Jeremy said goodnight to Michael when the other boy said he had to go.

Jeremy laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Everything he knew and felt were askew. It was as if he was stuck in some kind of limbo. He stared at the ceiling contemplating his life. Christine breaking up with him, then a week later coming out to everyone at the theatre club as asexual. Jake also came out as bisexual during that week. Even Michael came out. Jeremy started wondering what even is sexuality. How does one define or label themselves. He opened his phone. Going through his contacts. Rich's name stood out. Christine had told Jeremy that she talked to Rich before she found out that she was asexual. Rich opened up to everyone first, so he seemed to be the only one who could answer Jeremy if he asked. The problem was Jeremy didn't know what he wanted to ask. He didn't even know if he wanted to hear the answer.

**Evan H sent you a text**

Jeremy was surprised that Evan texted him. Usually Jeremy texted him first, and even then the two rarely talked. After the diner they barely exchanged five texts between each other. Jeremy opened the message.

 **Evan H:** YOUR DAD JUST ASKED MY MOM TO MARRY HIM!! WHAT DO I DO?!

Jeremy reread the message three times before the words clicked in his brain. He completely forgot his inner conflict.

"DAD?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay a bit of authors note... Evan and Jeremy both have nicknames in their respective chats with their friends... Jeremy is player 1, and Evan is willow tree


	4. The answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heidi softly whispered to her son, "He asked me to marry him." 
> 
> Evan couldn't breathe. He wasn't ready. He didn't know what it was like to have a dad. He doesn't remember the time he had a dad. His own father left him. Now Evan was going to have another dad. Not just a dad, Evan is going to have a brother. 
> 
>  
> 
> "Evan texted me." Jeremy quietly said. "He said you asked nurse Hansen to marry you." 
> 
> Joe half smiled. "Are you two close?" 
> 
> Jeremy didn't know how to answer that question. Joe sounded hopeful. Evan and Jeremy were barely acquaintances, both knowing the other solely because their parents were dating. They have exchanged phone numbers and seen each other a couple of times, but Jeremy wasn't ready to call Evan his friend, let alone brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Father/son talk...killed me...but here it is

Heidi softly whispered to her son, "He asked me to marry him."

Evan couldn't breathe. He wasn't ready. He didn't know what it was like to have a dad. He doesn't remember the time he had a dad. His own father left him. Now Evan was going to have another dad. Not just a dad, Evan is going to have a brother.

 

* * *

 

"Dad!" Jeremy jumped out of his bed. He slammed open his door.

"Yes son?" Joe was sitting on the couch, drinking beer and watching the TV.

Jeremy opened his mouth to say something but the words didn't come out. He didn't know how to start this conversation with his dad. His mom left his dad only two years ago, and now his dad meets a woman goes on few dates, and gets down on one knee. Jeremy didn't understand adults.

"Sit down." Joe tapped the spot next to him. "And close your mouth, you will catch a fly in it."

Jeremy twirled his phone awkwardly in his hands. What was his dad thinking? He barely knew Heidi. Was he thinking at all? Were they ready?

"Evan texted me." Jeremy quietly said. "He said you asked nurse Hansen to marry you."

Joe half smiled. "Are you two close?" 

Jeremy didn't know how to answer that question. Joe sounded hopeful. Evan and Jeremy were barely acquaintances, both knowing the other solely because their parents were dating. They have exchanged phone numbers and seen each other a couple of times, but Jeremy wasn't ready to call Evan his friend, let alone brother. It wasn't that either boys disliked each other, but when the two interacted with each other there was always some awkward tension between them. Every time Jeremy talked to Evan, over texts or in person the common knowledge was that their parents were into one another, and neither of the boys knew what to do with that information.

"Kind of." Jeremy said lied. He didn't want his father to be upset again. Heartache didn't suit Joe, and Jeremy didn't want to see his dad hanging around the apartment in his underwear again.

"You don't need to lie to me." Joe half smiled. "But thanks, kiddo."

The two sat in silence. Jeremy thought over which question he wanted answered first. How sure he was about marrying Heidi? Would this marriage change meaning to Joe's previous marriage with Jeremy's mom? Will they have to move, is so when? Was Joe sure Heidi would say yes? How did he propose, and why didn't Jeremy know about this sooner?

"Dad? Are you sure you're not rushing into things?"

Joe looked at his son. Jeremy played with his thumbs. He never expected to have this kind of conversation with his father.

"I mean, after your and mom's divorce it took you weeks to recover. And, well. Do you know nurse Hansen well enough to marry her? Are you ready for- you know, all that?"

"You never know you're ready for life until it happens." Joe looked at his son. "But I do know I love Heidi, and I want to wake up next to her for the rest of my life."

"But-"

"In life you have to take risks. To be truly happy in life you have to fallow your heart. Do the thing that scares you. Tell the person you love about your feelings, cause you never know how long you are going to have them in your life." Joe said, " And for us it wasn't out of the blue proposal. We did talk about our future and possible marriage."

"Did she say yes?"

 

* * *

 

"Did you say yes?"

"No." Heidi said still looking at the small box infront of her.

"So you said no?"

"No. I said- I said I need to think about it."

Evan couldn't think. He texted Jeremy. He needed someone who might understand how Evan felt. Only person Evan could possibly think of that could understand was his possible future step brother.

"You are graduating in a few months. There are college fees. Mine and now yours, cause no son of mine would skip higher education." Heidi pointed her finger at Evan. She slumped back in her chair, resuming her stare at the small box.

"And weddings are expensive," She sighed.

"Do you- do you love him. I mean Joe. Do you love him?"

"I do."

"If- by chance. If the wedding was free. Would you say yes?" Evan felt his chest ache, as if someone was pressing tons of block against it.

Heidi smiled. She opened the box to reveal a ring. The ring didn't look impressive. It was simple silver colour with a smallest rock. It looked more like a promise ring that teenagers would buy for their significant lovers, than an engagement ring. Heidi looked at the ring like it was the most precious thing she ever received.

"I would. In a heart beat."

Evan paced around his room awaiting Jeremy's reply. Jared was spamming the group chat woth pictures if Connor, Michael and himself. Evan turned off the notifications on the chat. He couldn't focus on the group chat when he was having a crisis. He also didn't want to share the news with his friends. At least not yet. Everything in his life was changing, and it was changing fast. Zoey started dating someone, like Evan knew she would. Connor was out if the hospital, but Evan still couldn't tell when the guy is being sarcastic and when he was serious. Alana was opening up about her own anxiety. Everything was spinning. He didn't want to turn the group chat about him, when other people had problems of their own.

**Jeremy Heere is calling**

Evan stared at his phone. He was expecting Jeremy to text a response, not to call him. He took a deep breath before sliding the answer button. This was important, he should pick up.

"Hey, Evan. It's me." Jeremy's voice sounded from the other side.

"Hi."

"Listen, I just talked to my dad. And he really likes your mom." Jeremy paused before continuing. "Does- does your mom-?"

"She does."

From the other side of the speaker Jeremy took a deep breath. "God this is awkward."

"It is. It really is." Evan agreed. "So what do we do?"

"Nothing. There is nothing we can do. It's all up to your mom. Either she accepts or rejects the proposal."

"And your dad would be okay with my mom rejecting?"

"Probably not. But he will get through it."

"I really don't know what I should do. How to feel. This is all sudden." Evan confessed.

"You are not alone. Just- just. Keep me updated, okay? I should go to sleep now, so-" Jeremy yawned.

"So, good night?" Evan said into the speaker.

"Good night." Jeremy said and hung up.

After that phone call, and everything that happened today Evan couldn't even think about falling asleep. He opened the grop chat.

 **jazz hands:** eww connor stop being gross

Evan scrolled up to get caught up with the conversation. After Jared shared all the photos they took today, Alana and Zoey started asking about Michael. Jared explained how he met Michael at a summer camp when he was a kid, how Michael would usually stick to himself play on his gameboy and listen to music on his mp3 player. Connor then commented how he hadn't expected that Jared could have cool friends. He also made a lewd remark. Feeling caught up with the chat, Evan decided he should share his news.

my mom's boyfriend asked her to marry him

 **jazz hands:** WOW  
**jazz hands:** OMG

 **hacker voice:** what did she say?????

 **back in black:** on a valentines day? she probably said yes  
**back in black:** thats huge evs

 **valedictorian:** EVAN THATS GREAT!  
**valedictorian:** What did she say?

 

* * *

 

After school Jeremy, Jake, Rich, Jenna and Christine went to Michael's house. Michael ushered them to the basement where the board from previous week still stood untouched. Each guest took out their character sheets as Michael pulled up the game master's border.

"Where did we left off?" Michael asked.

"Jake and Rich were in the tavern making bets with the bar keeper so that they could clear out their tab without paying. Christine just stole 35 gold from the prince of Greosh and is hiding in his closet. And Jeremy and I were surrounded by an angry mob." Jenna summariesed the important parts of previous game.

Having Michael as the dungeon master always made the game fun. Jenna played a cleric elf while Jeremy played a human bard. Jake and Rich were playing barbarian half elf and a halfling paladin respectively. While Christine played a rogue tiefling.

"Great. Anyone up for snacks and drinks?" Michael asked.

"I'd like coffee. Extra milk and sugar." Christine said.

"Simple mountain dew for me." Rich said.

"Same." Jeremy agreed.

"I'd like some snacks." Jenna said.

"Whatever you bring. I'll drink and eat." Jake gave a thumbs up.

Michael repeated everyone's orders and went upstairs to collect them. When he returned on the small table everyone placed their dice and their figurines that represented their characters. Jeremy's dice were metalic blue. Jake and Rich switched a die from their collection so that each had d8 from the other set. Jake's original set was purple and Rich's were green. Christine played with the pink and Jenna with the orange set. Leaving the red set of dice to Michael. Michael placed a glass infront of everyone, but Christine who got a mug of coffee, and poured mountain dew. He placed a bowl of chips next to the board and sat in his game masters bean bag chair.

"So." The game master smirked as he crossed his arms. "Who wants to go first?"

Everyone agreed they wanted to see how Jeremy and Jenna would escape the angry mob, and with that the game began. Michael was ruthless game master. Jeremy couldn't roll high enough so that his song could calm down the angry mob. He made the mob even more angrier. Jenna had to flip through her papers to find a spell that she could use. She successfully casted a blade barrier, giving Jeremy enough time to slip inside the tavern where Jake was arm wrestling with a bar keeper and Rich had an eating contest with bar keeper's wife. Jake had won the arm wrestle, while Rich lost his challenge, so Jake got away without paying while Rich had to pay double of what he owed. Christine had the easiest game. All she had to do was wait for the coast to clear and sneak out.

These games were always fun and filled with laughter. Michael knew exactly how to make a story stressful, but enjoyable and relaxing at the same time. It was Rich's turn to choose an action when Jeremy's phone rang.

"Sorry." Jeremy stood up from the board. "It's my dad. I have to pick up."

"Sure. Go ahead." Michael said, before diverting his focus back to Rich's roll.

"I'm at Michael's." Jeremy said as soon as the connection was created.

"Will you be staying the night there?"

Jeremy thought about it. They always wrapped the end if the game precisely at half past ten, so that everyone could get home on time. So the game wouldn't keep him away from home for the night. Yet Jeremy wanted to stay at Michael's after the game. If only to atone himself for the Valentine's day.

"I might be." Jeremy said. "We are kinda in the game right now."

"Okay. See you tomorrow, private."

Jeremy rolled his eyes, but smiled.

"Bye dad."

Jeremy returned to the board to see Rich successfully seducing one of Michael's npc's. The game ended shortly after, when the clock struck half past ten. Everyone but Jeremy picked up their stuff and said goodbyes.

Jeremy helped Michael wash up the dishes. Mrs. Mell thanked the boys for cleaning up. Jeremy and Michael stayed up playing video games until they both felt their eyelids growing heavy. Michael gave a shirt to Jeremy to sleep in, since he didn't really pack to sleepover. Thankfully tomorrow was Saturday so the boys didn't have school in the morning. Mrs. Mell woke them up for breakfast.

Last thing Jeremy expected to see when he came home was nurse Hansen. Yet there she was. Only wearing Mr. Heere's shirt. Thankfully the shirt almost reached her knees in lenght. She was eating scrambled eggs with Joe. Joe was thankfully wearing a pair of pyjama pants. Thankfully. Jeremy stood there watching the couple, not knowing how to react. The scene seemed so domestic and yet so foreign. Heidi clearly embarrassed, tried to pretend like she wasn't only wearing her boyfriend's shirt, but she was self conscious about it. Pulling it down to try and hide as much skin as she could.

"Wasn't expecting you here up so early." Joe said."Did you have breakfast?"

"Uhm yeah. Michael's mom made waffles." Jeremy said looking at his feet. He didn't want to see Heidi semi undressed. "I'm gonna go to- uhmm my room."

"I should go get dressed." Heidi stood up. She walked to Joe's bedroom on her tiptoes.

From his room Jeremy heard Heidi say goodbye to Joe, as she thanked him for a wonderful night. Jeremy didn't want to think about why the night was wonderful.

"Bye, Jeremy!" Heidi yelled through the door.

"Bye, nurse Hansen!" Jeremy yelled back.

When she closed the front door behind her, Jeremy picked up the courage to ask his dad what happened last night. Hopefully he'd get as little details as possible.

 

* * *

 

Evan was used to waking up alone in the apartment. His room was small, with light blue painted walls. His walls were bare of posters, and the only thing on them were shelves and a clock by the door. His bed was directly placed under the window. Evan loved looking through it as he tried to fall asleep. Looking at the stars made him feel like he was outside in the nature. His blinds were rollled up so that they covered half the window. Morning blue light shined on his face, waking Evan up. A desk was making an L shape with the bed. On it there was nothing out of place. Pencils were in its holder. Papers were in its binder.  Books were either on the shelf or in the school bag. It was a small room, but a tidy one.

Evan's laptop sat closed on the edge of the desk, as if he just pushed it there when he was ready to fall asleep, like he did most nights. He searched for his phone, that was charging on the floor. He plug it out to check the time. It was 11:17am. Usually his mom would wake him up so that they coukd buy groceries together around nine. The fact that she didn't worried him. He unlocked his phone to read new messages. He had few from the group chat, one from his mum and one from Jeremy Heere. He open his mom's message.

 **Mom (ICE)** : I missed the bus so I'm staying over at Joe's. I'll be back in the morning. Love you honey

He was less worried about his mom. He opened the group chat.

 **back in black** : i hate my doctors!!  
**back in black:** i make an appointment at 10 and IM STILL WAITING!!  
**back in black:** i just need my meds refilled  
**back in black:** and ofc you all are asleep cuz its SATURDAY IN THE FUCKING 11 IN THE MORNING

i just woke up  
im sorry you had a rough morning...at least you'll get your turn eventually?

Evan closed the group chat to open the message from Jeremy.

 **Jeremy Heere:** YOUR MOM JUST SAID YES???? EVAN?????? I AM????? HOW DO I????

Evan stared at Jeremy's text. His hands were trembling. He never had a brother before and his dad left him when he was young. He barely remembered the man's face. Now he was going to have a stepfamily, a brother abd a father. He opened the group chat.

 **back in black:** i have to wake up early on a weekend go to the stupid doctor early in the morning to get the meds that i need to be okay

im really sorry for interrupting you...but my mom said yes

 **back in black:** to proposal?

yes

 

* * *

 

 **all seeing jenna:** O  
**all seeing jenna:** M  
**all seeing jenna:** G

 jenna its not that exciting

 **totally boss:** duuuuuuude your dad is getting married  
**totally boss:** thats big

 **player hearsal:** Jeremy! THIS IS HUUUUUGE!

 **all seeing jenna:** I need the name of your future stepmother... i need to investigate

 **player hearsal:** Your dad is basically all our dad  
**player hearsal:** he vasucally adopted all kf us after the play when...you fainted

 **bi guy:** i feel like our family is growing  
**bi guy:** *wipes a proud tear*

 **all seeing jenna:** Heidi Hansen; only child, went to nursing school, has one son (he's a senior this year), currently studying at a community college to become a lawyer

 **bi guy:** welcome to little brothers club jer

 HOW DID YOU  
WHERE DID YOU

 **all seeing jenna:** she seems like really nice woman  
**all seeing jenna:** your dad has good taste

JENNA?????!

 **all seeing jenna:** lets find out about future stepbrother

jenna stop! I already know evan

 **all seeing jenna:** fiiiiiine  
**all seeing jenna:** but im just so excited  
**all seeing jenna:** its not every day one of your friend's parents marry  
**all seeing jenna:** i just texted chloe about the news

 **totally boss:** so both she and brooke know now  
**totally boss:** that only leaves michael

 hes hanging out with a friend from camp today

 **totally boss:** WAIT??! MICHAEL HAS OTHER FRIENDS THAN JEREMY?????

his world doesn't revolve around me ya know

 **totally boss:** it kinda does

 **bi guy:** yea dude, you're like his...everything

 **all seeing jenna:** chloe says brooke wants to be the flower girl  
**all seeing jenna:** and michael does have a life outside jeremy

thank you jenna

 **all seeing jenna:** but jeremy is still his world

shut up jenna

**all seeing  jenna: :3c**


	5. Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tried to calm Evan's anxiety down, but he quickly went offline cause the nurse called his name. Thankfully Alana came online before Jared got a chance to see the texts.
> 
>  **valedictorian:** All those scenarios sound highly unlikely
> 
>  
> 
> **willow tree**  
>  _is typing_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a while...wow..sorry to kept you waiting..but now I'm back!
> 
> Based on [edenleicester's step brother au](http://edenleicester.tumblr.com/post/162115850981/stepbrother-au-yes)

Jared scrolled down his tumblr feed as he waited for Michael to arrive. His group chat popped up, but he ignored it. It was probably just Connor venting about his doctors. He screenshot few memes he would later send to the group chat. Someone tapped his shoulder to get his attention. It was Michael. The two agreed to spend Jared's first pay cheque on arcade games at the mall. They chitchatted as Jared paid for the tokens.

Michael led them to the DDR machine. The two boys agreed to go to the arcade this early to avoid the crowd that usually gathers around the machine. They inserted the coins and watched as the machine grew alive. The two played few rounds before getting winded. Jared felt accomplished when his screen flashed the letter D.

"You finally got the D," Michael smirked.

"Only in the game, Mike." Jared said. He glanced at Michael's screen. It displayed a flashing bright A. It wasn't surprising. Michael did brag that he played DDR a lot.

"How about we take a break?" Jared suggested seeing the crowd forming a line, eager to play the game themselves.

Michael fished out his phone.

"Sorry. My group chat is spamming." Michael said.

"No. It's fine." Jared decided he should probably check his own group chat. Send few memes to the chat, while he is there.

As expected Connor was venting about his doctors, but what got Jared off guard was Evan's text.

 **willow tree** : im really sorry for interrupting you...but my mom said yes

 **back in black** : to proposal?

 **willow tree** : yes

Jared knew Heidi Hansen since forever. She was close friends with his own mother. She hadn't dated that much since Evan's dad left. If she did date it was never this serious. Jared knew Evan is probably having an anxiety attack back at his room, thinking about all the improbable ways he and his stepfamily might not get along. From what Jared knows from Evan's stories Joe, Heidi's boyfriend now fiancé, has a son who is a junior. In the chat Evan was talking about all the possibilities how the two would argue. What if they don't like the same cereal, and then they had to buy two cereal boxes. It won't be financially smart to buy two different brands of cereal.

Connor tried to calm Evan's anxiety down, but he quickly went offline cause the nurse called his name. Thankfully Alana came online before Jared got a chance to see the texts.

 **valedictorian:** All those scenarios sound highly unlikely

 **willow tree** _is typing_

"Hey, Jeremy." Michael's voice brought Jared out of his group chat. "I just read the group chat."

Jared looked back to his phone.

 **willow tree:** my mum is here gtg

Evan rarely used abbreviations. Which is how Jared knew Evan was still panicking about the situation. He opened his private chat with Evan. Jared wasn't known for calming words so he spammed Evan with memes and pictures of nature that he knew would calm his racing mind.

"Dude, it won't be that much different from when I crash the night at your place." Michael said into his phone, "...Yeah, like never ending sleepover...I think it's nice. Your dad has finally moved on and your family is growing...Okay, you go kill some zombies. But text me if you need me. And if you reach level 12 tell me how you did it. Bye."

"Uhmm, sorry about that." Michael said as he put his phone away. "That was Jeremy. He just found out his dad got engaged."

"It's fine." Jared waved him off. "You hungry? Wanna go eat something."

"More thirsty than hungry, but lets go."

 

* * *

 

  
Jeremy left the chat soon after Rich and Jenna started brainstorming ideas what Evan and Jeremy, plus the whole gang, could do together. He was still processing the idea of having possible stepmother and stepbrother. Telling the news to his friends only proved how real it was. Jenna and Rich discussing game nights and already inviting Evan over, without knowing him; that made everything way too real. He had to step back and process the whole thing by himself.

He thought about how different his life would be. His parents divorce was final only last summer. A little before his junior year started. Their marriage was over years before that, and they've been separated his entire high school years. Jeremy had lived with his mother for a brief period of time, when he was a freshman. Before his father got the full custody, and his mother moved away to better her career. Jeremy never had a good relationship with his mother, so he didn't know what to expect from Heidi.

Tune of Bob Marley's Everything's Gonna Be Alright played from under Jeremy's pillow. Jeremy took out his phone already knowing who's calling him. He was glad Michael personalised his own ringtone.

"Hey, Jeremy. I just read the group chat." Michael said, and Jeremy could hear the concern in his voice.

Jeremy swallowed before speaking. "I'm fine. Really."

"That's bullshit, Heere. If you were fine you would have stayed online or told Jenna to back off or something."

"She means well."

"She does. But she can be a bit pushy." There was a pause. "So what's bugging you?"

"I don't know. I've never had a brother before. This is all- I don't know. What do brothers do? We are going to live together. I don't know really where or- What if we don't get along?" once he started opening up to Michael there was no stopping. His fears rushed out of his mouth before he even registered them in his mind. It was so easy talking to Michael. "What if we have to share a room? I never shared a room in my life!"

"Dude, it won't be that much different from when I crash the night at your place." Michael said calmly.

Jeremy took a deep breath. Attempting to calm himself to match Michael.

"It will be way different from you, though." He said. "You stay a night or two. He will live here."

"Yeah, like never ending sleepover." Michael said, and Jeremy wondered how he could remain so calm all the time.

"Everything- Why does everything have to change?"

"I think it's nice. Your dad has finally moved on and your family is growing-"

"Yeah. It's good for him. I'm happy for him." Jeremy interrupted Michael.

He knew his dad deserved to be happy, and he was glad he had found someone who made him so. Still Jeremy wished nothing major had to change. He was content with what he had right now. His relationship with his dad improved. He had found a group of friends that liked him. Jeremy was still awestruck at times at the sudden popularity he had gotten. After so many big changes in his life, Jeremy wasn't sure if he was ready for another, and that made him feel selfish. He didn't want to feel worse by his best friend pointing out how his dad deserved this big change in his own life if it made him happy. Which it did. His dad was whistling in the other room all day since Heidi left. Jeremy didn't want to get out of his room because of the guilt he would feel for wishing that the engagement never happened.

"I need time to cool off. I'm gonna go play Apocalypse of The Damned a bit. Get my head cleared."

"Okay, you go kill some zombies. But text me if you need me. And if you reach level 12 tell me how you did it."

After they both said goodbyes, Jeremy hung up the phone. He didn't play Apocalypse of the Damned. Instead he texted the only person who might understand what's he going through.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan lied when he said his mother had returned. She had texted him telling him she was on the bus headed home. He just didn't want to talk about it. He put away his phone and went to the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Heidi returned. When she told Evan the news, he pretended he was hearing it for the first time. Like it hadn't consumed his morning with worry. Their apartment was barely big enough for the two of them. Heidi told him how both Joe and she didn't want a big fancy wedding. Just close friends and few family memebers.They each had fancy luxurious wedding in their youth. Both which led to unhappy marriage. She hadn't mention how their living arrangements would change, which didn't ease Evan's anxiety.

Evan felt his hands lighter and bare. He needed his phone to fiddle with. When he found it he had dozen messages from Jared, two from each Murphy and one from Jeremy.

 **back in black** : i can feel you freaking out stop it  
**back in black:** im free today if you need someone to walk you to the orchid

Jared mostly sent pictures of trees he found on google search. There were few that were from the park and around their school. Between few pictures of trees a meme here and there. As a final message, Jared sent him one simple word. Breathe.

 **jazz hands:** alana has to study today and i have a band practice at 8 but im free till then  
**jazz hands:** if you need company im your gal

 **Jeremy Heere:** im gonna go insane if i stay in wanna meet up?

First thing Evan did was tell Connor that Jeremy wanted to meet up with him. Connor unhelpfully shot back how he should go with Jeremy.

I CANT

 **back in black** : why not?

I never hung out with him alone  
its weird

 **back in black** : would it help if someone you knew already was around you too?

idk...it might

 **back in black** : so ask him if he can meet us at the orchad

Evan met up with Connor first. Evan felt like his legs were made out of gelatin. Connor looked cool in his all black outfit. He wore an old black hoodie and black ripped jeans. Evan greeted him.

"Relax a bit." Connor said. "You look like you swallowed a plank."

It was easier said than done.

"And stop apologising for things so much. "

Evan didn't realise he said _sorry_ but he must've. It became a reflex thing. It took all his will power to not say it again.

Jeremy arrived not shortly after. Connor led the two future brothers into the Orchard. Evan and Connor went here after Connor was released from the hospital. It was their place. It became theirs before they ever went there together. Their entire friendship was built on a lie. Only ones who knew the truth were the two of them, their therapists and Jared.

Before the attempted suicide, Connor signed Evan's cast in big bold letters. Not leaving much room for others.

"So we can both pretend we have friends." Connor had said.

Then there was misunderstanding between them and Connor had took Evan's _'Dear Evan Hansen'_ therapy homework. That one note was confused as Connor's suicide note, and the Murphys assumed Evan Hansen was close to their son. At first Evan wanted to confess that that was a misunderstanding, and even Zoey suspected that was a lie. Yet Connor played along. Mostly for his parents sake.

"If I have friends they would get off my back." He had said.

The Orchard was part of the lie. It was a place they said they visited together and spent days talking there. They later went. After Evan got his cast removed. After Connor was released. They made their lie a truth. They became close friends. So close that Evan told Connor how he really broke his arm.

"I didn't slip." He had admited. "I let go."


	6. Packing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor led them to an orchard. Jeremy wasn't a fan of nature. He preferred observing it in pictures or documentaries. Trees around them seemed bare without either snow or leaves to cover them. Rows and rows of trees. There was a narrow path that lead deeper into the orchard.
> 
>  
> 
> Murphy's living room was cosy and warm. Whenever Evan stayed over this was the room he and Connor usually hung out. The room emitted an aura of calmness. The walls were eggshell white and each wall had shelves with dozen books and pictures of Connor and Zoey growing up. From the windows Evan could see trees in the backyard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any gay subtext is unintentional, but appreciated. Also..am I projecting my own anxiety onto Evan? Hahahah what gave you that idea
> 
> ...
> 
> ....
> 
> Anyhow...enjoy

At first glance Connor, Evan's friend, seemed intimidating. Like he was the kind of guy who would have a pocket knife and rob people in an alleyways. He was dressed in black and dark gray colour scheme. His hair tied in a low hanging bun. Jeremy didn't understand how someone like Evan, who seemed like he would apologise for stepping in your shadow, would be friends with someone like Connor, who seemed like he would pull a knife at you for stepping in his shadow.

"Stop it." Connor squeezed Evan's shoulder, and it was like magic. Evan took a deep breath and eased in the exhale. They were an odd pair, to say the least.

Connor led them to an orchard. Jeremy wasn't a fan of nature. He preferred observing it in pictures or documentaries. Trees around them seemed bare without either snow or leaves to cover them. Rows and rows of trees. There was a narrow path that lead deeper into the orchard.

When they were surrounded by nature Evan's eyes lit up. He went ahead, with wonder filled eyes as if he was a kid in a candy store. He seemed at ease, talking about fun facts about flora. Jeremy never heard Evan talk more than two sentences, here he had full lecture lenght speech about all kinds of trees. Connor just smiled and followed Evan deeper into the orchard.

"It was nicer when i was little." Connor said to Jeremy letting Evan to ramble to himself. "Used to come here with my family then. Now its just me and Evan who ever visit here."

They all stopped in a clearing. Evan sat leaning against one of the trees, breathing deeply and calmly. Jeremy was surprised at how differently Evan looked surrounded by nature. There were no signs of tense teen Jeremy had met up with earlier. Connor laid down on the grass, looking at the sky. Evan invited Jeremy to sit down as well.

Daylight shined through the branches, making the grass look greener. Jeremy could smell fresh air. Soft breeze past rustled their hair. He could hear insects in the distance buzzing around. Jeremy envied Evan for how calm he was surrounded by all the bugs.

Connor asked Jeremy questions about his hobbies, his music taste. What he planned to do after school.

"I don't really know." Jeremy said. "I was thinking game designer or voice actor or something like that. You?"

"Probably a suffering homeless artist." Connor said in such seriousness Jeremy wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"He's joking." Evan said.

"I'm not." Connor said.

"He is thinking of being a comic book illustrator or animator." Evan said.

"That's what I said. A starving artist." Connor smirked and made hand gestures at the sky as if he was spreading it. "Connor Murphy. A starving artist."

"He says that and yet he is great at both storytelling and drawing."

Connor huffed as he sat up to get the better look at Evan. "What about your stories? Soon to be awarded writer."

"I- it's not. They haven't published the results yet." Evan said as he plucked few strands of grass. "There is a chance I won't win it."

Jeremy was intrigued with what the two were talking about. He didn't know Evan liked writing. Now that he thought about it, he barely knew anything about Evan. The guy rarely talked about himself or his interests.

"Oh please. Don't give me that shit. You'll win and you know it." Connor said throwing some leaves, he had picked up earlier in passing during their walk, at Evan.

Evan dodged some, others found their place in his hair and clothes. He spat as if some have entered his mouth.

"Stop that." Evan chuckled, and threw grass at Connor.

Connor didn't seem too bothered by the grass thrown on him. He explained to Jeremy that Evan's writing was admitted to their school competition. The winner is awarded; their work is published, they gain a scholarship and a brand new laptop.

"It is a sweet deal." Jeremy said.

"It is." Connor nodded. "And Hansen here has really great chances of winning."

Evan mumbled something under his breath and Connor groaned.

"You deserve it as much as anyone." Connor said. "And you are gonna win."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Cause. I placed money on you in Kleinmen's betting pool." Connor shrugged.

Evan gasped and pushed Connor's shoulder.

"You shouldn't have done that!"

Connor smirked. "Shouldn't have done what? Place a bet or tell you about it?"

Evan squealed Connor's name.

"I'm guessing both." Jeremy said. He laughed at how natural their teasing was.

Connor got up to get away from Evan's reach. There was no doubt that the two of them were close. Evan ran after Connor. Maybe as close as Jeremy and Michael were. Connor laughed and encouraged Evan to chase him, yelling back how much money he placed on him. Jeremy watched them, feeling as if he's intruding on something intimate and sacred.

Weeks passed. Joe and couple of his friends were rearranging the house so that a family of four could easily live there. Thankfully Jeremy's room was undisturbed. The guest room was turned into Evan's bedroom. As much as he liked Evan, Jeremy wasn't ready to share his small messy room.

 

* * *

 

Cynthia made pot roasted chicken and mashed potatoes. Besides the Murphy siblings, at the table sat both Evan and Alana. Evan was usual guest at the Murphy home. Almost every Friday Evan stayed for dinner after school. He never slept over though, despite Cynthia's constant invitation. Alana was here because she, Connor and Evan were teamed up to do a geography project.

"Well isn't this nice." Cynthia said as she placed the home cooked meal on the table. "I'm always happy when you kids come to visit."

Smell of freshly cooked meal overwhelmed the dining table. Cynthia was an amazing cook. Usually Evan would either eat take outs, pizza or left overs. Because of Heidi's busy schedule and his anxiety, Evan learnt to cook few simple meals for himself. Nothing he prepared could be compared to Cynthia's cooking.

"Thank you Mrs. Murphy." Evan and Alana said.

Connor grabbed for a chicken leg as soon as the food was placed in front of him. Cynthia squatted his hand with a wash cloth.

"Not yet." She said. Looking over at the teenagers she asked everyone if they wanted something to drink. "Don't be shy, just ask."

After the meal the kids went to the living room. Murphy's living room was cosy and warm. Whenever Evan stayed over this was the room he and Connor usually hung out. The room emitted an aura of calmness. The walls were eggshell white and each wall had shelves with dozen books and pictures of Connor and Zoey growing up. From the windows Evan could see trees in the backyard.

A small cherry tree and an willow oak. When he was first at Murphy's Evan only felt comfortable sitting near the windows looking at the trees. Their leaves were rusty bronze colour then, showing off the colours of late October. Now the cherry branches were decorated with small white flowers, and the oak was just recovering its green glow.

There was a table in the centre of the room. Couch and the arm chair looked as if they were pulled out of furniture magazine. Matching white, with colourful pillows.

First time Evan was here, Connor was just released for a weekend visit from hospital. The fireplace had emitted warmth from the fire. Over the fireplace hung a family portrait of the Murphys. They were all standing in matching outfits, probably Cynthia's idea. Boys in blue suits and ties, and girls matching in blue dresses. Zoey and Connor stood in front of their parents. Larry with his hand over Connor's shoulder. Cynthia had her both arms around Zoey, who was sitting down.

"With a family portrait perfect like that, people would never assume how broken this family really is." Connor had said then.

Fireplace was now extinguished. Zoey sat on the arm chair, her legs dangling over one of the arm rests, her back leaning on the other. Alana made her scoot over so that she had room to sit next to her. Evan sat on the couch, making sure he could look out of the window. Connor excused himself out of the room to get his part of the project, encouraging both Alana and Evan to start without him. Alana took out her research papers from her backpack. Evan awkwardly sat awaiting for Connor to return. When he returned he carried a sheet of paper size A2.

"Don't you have homework to do?" Connor asked his sister.

"Nah." Zoey said, leaning on Alana and playing a game on her phone.

"She's not bothering me." Alana said.

They began working. Alana managed the boys, making sure the panel looked perfect. At each step, Connor would consult with Evan. Evan was never sure if his ideas were any good, so if it weren't for Connor he would have stayed silent. Zoey moved from time to time, looking over their work, offering them snacks or drink. Mostly she would play games on her phone.

Front door opened. Larry Murphy returned from work. He greeted the teens in the living room. Evan fished out his phone, to check the time.

"I gotta go." He said and packed all of his stuff in his bag.

"Now?" Alana asked.

"Yes. We're moving tomorrow." Evan said. "I'm already late."

"You're still going to sleep over?" Zoey asked Alana.

"Oh. Yes. Of course."

Connor warned Evan to keep his phone on loud, if they needed his input since they wanted to work on the project a little longer. Evan said goodbye to everyone, thanked Cynthia for dinner and went home to help his mother pack.

When he got back to their apartment Evan was met with boxes and boxes worth of stuff. Heidi and he were packing for a week. She didn't want to sell the apartment.

"So if you want to move back here when you're ready to live by yourself." She had told Evan.

Instead of selling it, she decided to rent it out. For some extra cash. For rainy days. Evan was glad they weren't getting rid of the apartment. This was where he grew up. He moved slowly, touching each wall, remembering his childhood days.

On the wall near the kitchen door was few lines marking out Evan's growth through the years. In the kitchen still stood a greasy spot on the ceiling when he tried to flip a pancake for the first time. He had a lot of firsts in the kitchen. His first tooth came out while he was eating an apple. Unable to wait for dinner.

"Mom?" Evan called out.

"In the bathroom!" Heidi called back.

Evan decided to go to his room, while it was still his room. A box marked _Evan's clothes_ was placed by the bed. His closet was almost empty. Inside it was a box labeled _Evan's winter clothes,_ another box labeled _Evan's books_ laid by the desk.

Only box that was completly empty was a box marked _Evan's stuff_. Heidi had told him he could put anything he wanted in it. Old toys. Some memorabilia. Anything he wished to bring to their new home. He was hesitant to put anything there. It will make the move real. His whole way of life is changing. A flush. Running water.

Evan sorted out some stuff he'd like to keep. A baseball glove given to him by Connor. He didn't want to use it, and Evan was ogling at it so he gave it to him. Some trading cards of X-men and other Marvel and DC superheroes he collected when he was younger. Photos of Alana, Jared and him taken in a photo booth in the mall, when they first teamed up for a project. A photo from the same photo booth only months later. Connor and Evan's first photo together.

"You could act if you're having fun. I won't mind." Connor had said.

They had went out for the first time after Connor's release.

"I am having fun." Evan had said.

"Then why do you look so constipated?" Connor had asked.

Evan supposed he did look constipated in the picture.

His eyes warily looking at Connor. As if the other boy was pointing a gun to his head, forcing him to smile. Connor grinned at the camera and flipped it off. Evan placed the photo in the box.

"You all right in here?" Heidi asked from the door.

"Yeah." Evan said. "Almost finished."

Heidi smiled at her son.

"I'm so proud of you!" She came into the room, close enough to cup Evan's cheeks and kissed him on the forehead. "My awarded writer."

Connor was right that he would win the award. The results came out when Heidi annouced they would be moving to the Heere's house. She couldn't stop gushing how proud she was of him. Still Evan couldn't shake the feeling he did something wrong. Like something was wrong. Logically he understood that everything is peaceful and he shouldn't be so worried. Yet he always felt as if he was on the edge of a cliff bearly holding onto it. His body was always anticipating an attack that his mind knew, deep down, will never come. Instead of conveying his worries to his mother, he gave her a soft smile.


	7. Dungeons and Dragons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm officially a college student

Checking his phone everyonce in a while, Connor Murphy was awaiting hsis name to be called at the doctor's office. Waiting room was full of worried moms, depressed and uninterested kids. Some fidgeting, nervous. Probably their first time. Connor was pretty familiar with the place and noticed a girl he knew from couple of sessions before. Unfortunately he only remembered her face not name.

 **willow tree:** im really sorry for interrupting you...but my mom said yes

to proposal?

 **willow tree:** yes

Connor didn't know how to respond so he stopped texting. The fidgeting girl came closer to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm bad with names. You look familiar." She said.

"Connor." Connor reached out his hand to shake her's.

"Connor. Yes. " She repeated as if that was her own name." I mean. Christine. I'm Christine. Canigula." She corrected herself.

Connor's phone buzzed but he ignored it. Christine looked as if she will die if she doesn't talk to someone.

"Sorry if I talk too much. I've been waiting for hours and got bored. I am not good with waiting."

"Neither am I, but I can sit through it."

"That's the worst part for me! I got to move around or I'll go crazy. Oops. Bad choice or words."

Connor suppressed a laugh.

"I'm ADD. Kinda have to say the first thing on my mind. Hashtag no filter. I'm sorry that was a bad joke my friend makes. "

"Possible bipolar. So I kinda get you." Connor smiled and tapped his head, "With no filter kind of thing."

 

* * *

 

Jeremy and Evan didn't share a bedroom. Thank god. Guest room was turned into Evan's bedroom. Mornings weren't as awkward as either of the boys feared it will be. Heidi would wake up the boys, Evan first and Jeremy second, inviting both of them to breakfast. She would remind Evan about his assignments to which he would silently groan. Jeremy would glirraly open fridge and first thing he would drink was some kind of soda.

"Better than coffee." He told Evan.

Then two boys would eat breakfast before school in awkward silence. It could have been worse Evan could have woken up on his on and have to wait for the rest of his now new family to wake up to eat breakfast. At least like this he didnt have to worry about that scenario.

 

* * *

 

 

Jeremy followed Christine into the drama department. She was as bouncy as usual. Despite being exes the two were still good friends.

"You know I was thinking." She said, "during the next DnD session we could invite Evan to play with us. I want to meet him."

"That's not a bad idea, but he wouldn't know how to act if its just me and my friends hanging out." Jeremy said.

"Then tell him to invite some of his friends over."

"I don't want to discuss this without Michael. "

"Yea. Right. He is the DM." Christine nodded in agreement.

Michael didn't have any problem with Evan joining the campaign. He invited Jared first, then Evan and Connor just arrived.

It was surprise to everyone that Chritine and Connor knew each other, but neither wanted to tell the others from where.

Connor chose to play halfling rogue. Jared already brought his character from summer camp and Michael allowed him to keep his level,so that he was two levels above everyone else. Wizard human. Unsure what to pick because everyone picked something and Evan didn't want to copy anyone it took him a while to pick his class and race. It took Connor to convince Evan to pick halfling rogue like him. Exept he changed the assassin to thief.

"Since there is nine of you guys lets make it civil. Don't split the party please." Michael said before beginning.

Jenna, Rich and Jake met up with Christine and Jeremy met easily in game. Andromeda, Jenna, recieved the word from a priest, an npc that she should await for an arrival of a Wizard with his companions. Jeremy, Xenosas, managed to pick up some money by playing on his flute while Christine, rogue thiefling Zendaya, stole from few of the patrons of the pub they were staying.

Ashirion, the wizard played by Jared arrived  in toe with Endronna, Evan's halfling, and Isammella, Connor's character.

"I've been excpecting your arrival, great wizard." Andromeda said.

"What's so great about you?" Asked Drion, halfelf barbarian played by Jake.

Rich's character, halfling paladin Asora immediately started talking to Isammella and Endronna about why they were following someone who seems less competent than them.

"Ashirion saved my life so I am in debted to him, and my wife Endronna is mute."

"I AM NOT MUTE!" Evan said out of character.

"I can speak for myself," Evan said as Endronna, " and we are not married. I just make sure she doesn't kill everone she sees."

"I wish she was mute." Corrected Isammella.

"Three rogues on a save and rescue mission," Jared laughed, " What on God's world are you planning Michael."

The party went to a quest to retrive a priestess's daughter.

The nine party members went there and almost every rogue, but Evan failed on stealth checks. Connor used his lucky reroll to hide, leaving Christine's character to play as a captured thief by the rest of the party members. Evan and Connor's characters followed the group to the cells but split with them when the guards grew suspicious because of something Rich had said about the two halfling wives.

"Shit! I have to go." Jenna said just as the battle was supposed to begin.

"Roll for hide." Michael said.

"17."

"Okay. You quickly found a spot to hide and guards miscalculate how many of you guys are. You are permitted to leave."

The rest of the party fought as Jenna gathered her stuff and left for home. Connor and Evan's character still hidden found the place where the priestess's daughter was kept, but neither of them could unlock the door. Evan was blasted away on his try, while Connor later checked for traps and found out the lock was protected by a spell. They realised they needed the rest of the group to save the daughter.

 

* * *

 

 

Going back home Evan in hushed voice spoke to Connor.

"Thank you, for today."

"For what?" Connor replied in the same hushed tone.

"Role play. Thing. It was nice."

"Thank Michael. "

"Micheal." Evan nodded, than continued." Yeah he set up the story. But you helped me break the ice with so many people."

"This must be you." Connor stopped outside Heere's residents.

"Yeah. My new place. I would invite you in," Evan hesitated.

"Someday. And I'll say yes to that offer."

"Evan! Are you coming in?" Jeremy yelled out from the front porch.

Evan nodded and turned back to Connor.

"Go in." Connor nodded to the house.

Evan hugged Connor and left.

 

* * *

 

 

On Saturday morning Evan was slouched at the kitchen table.

"Hey." Jeremy said.

"I screwed up." Evan yawned.

"No you didn't. You played well. Michael said so as well."

"Not with the game. With Connor." Evan looked up to see Michael drinking soda while Jeremy put back the bottle back in the fridge.

"Pretend I am not Evan Heere." Michael smirked.

"Does he always do that." Evan turned to Jeremy.

"I wish this was his first time." Jeremy sat next to Evan. "What did you do to screw up with Connor."

Evan told them both about his crush on Connor. Not telling them the fact that thir friendship was built upon lie after Connor was hospitalised. Not bringing up that he had a crush on his sister before the hospitalisation. He didn't tell them anything about suicide.

"You didn't screw it up." Michael said as he ate cereal Jeremy put on the table.

"When did you arrive?" Evan asked, cause he was pretty sure Michael didn't sleep over.

"Around nine." Michael said, "Jeremy and I have to watch 13th together."

"Doctor Who." Jeremy added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for long wait and confusing chapter


	8. Father and sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I haven't played catch with my dad since I was 8." Jeremy whispered to Evan.
> 
> "I never played catch."
> 
> Joe was too happy to play catch with two teenagers. Thankfully no one batted an eye at the three or Jeremy would die of embarrassment. Evan had the time of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect fast updates from me!!! But I just remembered I forgot to add father son bonding time in this fic so I wrote it

* * *

Joe Heere decided to have quality time with his son and his future stepson. He barley knew what Evan's interests are. He wanted to mak sure to sit the boys down so that the boys could decide together what they wanted to do together.

He found Evan in his new room typing on his laptop that the boy won. Joe decided to approach his stepson first.

"Hey, champ. What'cha typin there?"

"Uh. Just chatting with some friends." Evan instinctively closed his laptop.

"Cool, cool." Joe knew better than to intrude more into privacy of a teenager," Now listen champ. Your mom and I've been talking and we decided I should take both you and Jeremy out somewhere to bond. Just us guys. Having family bonding."

"Okay?"

"I'll talk to Jeremy in a bit, when he is done with screaming at his computer, so we can discuss what you boys want to do for our fun day together."

As soon as Joe walked out of the room Evan rushed to the bedroom down the hall to find Jeremy screaming at his own computer playing OverWatch.

"Rich, RICH STAY IN THE.... And you died. HOW COULD HAVE I HEALED YOU, YOU WENT OUT OF RANGE!"

Evan awkwardly poked Jeremy's shoulder to alert his future stepbrother of his presence. Jeremy put down his headphones and turned a bit to face Evan.

"Do you have a second?"

"In a minute." Jeremy brushed off and continued to play.

"It's about your dad."

"I'm going afk guys. Start the next game without me." He let down his headphones to hang around his neck and Evan could hear couple of voices he recognised screaming in protest (Rich, Jenna and Michael's), "What did he do? " Jeremy's voice turned to his stepbrother in concern.

Evan didn't know what possible scenarios were running through his mind. Did his dad walk in Evan's room forgetting to put some pants on? Did he do something weirder? Something invoving no pants and Evan's mom. Jeremy really didn't want to think about it.

"He wants to plan an outing with three of us."

"That sounds...okay. Why are you worried?"

"I never hung out with a dad before." Evan admitted.

"He's embarrassing at first, but you get used to it."

"He called me champ."

"At least you have better nickname. I'm private, " Jeremy laughed." Listen, my dad loves hanging out with...well kids. My friends basically say he adopted them all when I got myself into a hospital during a school play."

"What about Connor thing." He whispered.

"When I say adopted my friends, I mean adopt every single one of them. I don't know if you noticed but all my friends are into theatre. Only one I know to be straight is Jenna. Or she's deep in the closet. Everyone else is either bi or gay." He paused then added, "Or asexual."

"But." Evan tried to interrupt, but Jeremy continyed ignoring Evan's input.

"My dad literally has a picture of me and my friends with LGBT flag behind us in his office at work. He is cool with not having a straight son. I think he will be cool with a bi stepson."

"You're not straight?" Evan asked softly.

"I don't know. It's not about me." Jeremy quickly said"All you have to know is my dad is embarrassing, but cool."

"And you don't have to tell him if you are not ready yet. You haven't told Heidi yet have you?"

"No. Not yet."

"My dad won't make it a big deal if you come out to him, is all I'm saying. But you don't have to come out to him during the first father/son hang outs."

"It's weird to call him dad though."

"It's weird calling Heidi mom too."

"Do you think it hurts their feelings?"

 

* * *

 

 

Jeremy and Evan sat across from Mr. Heere discussing a fun family hang out. Joe tried to get Evan to speak, but he felt as he had to pull out the teen's teeth out to get him to say something. They finally agreed to go play catch in the park (Evan's idea).

"I haven't played catch with my dad since I was 8." Jeremy whispered to Evan.

"I never played catch."

Joe was too happy to play catch with two teenagers. Thankfully no one batted an eye at the three or Jeremy would die of embarrassment. Evan had the time of his life.

 

* * *

 

 

 thanks for the glove

 **back in black** : you used it? Did you break it in like I told you to?

 yes

your dad is a genius

 **back in black** : at least when it comes to gloves  
**back in black** : he has no idea what to get his own son for a birthday though

at least he is trying

 **back in black** : so you played catch with who

 Jeremy and his dad  
father/son bonding i guess

 **back in black** : cliche but sounds like you had fun  
**back in black** : im glad the glove finally saw some use

 

* * *

 

 

It was unusual to not see Michael every weekend at the Heere residents. Heidi quickly got used to him, but Evan still didn't know how to feel about it. His own friends never visited as much, nor did he visit them.

He learned that Michael and Jeremy were friends since kindergarten, and basically grew up together. It was week three or four when Michael got alone time with Evan to talk to him a bit personally.

"Jeremy told me you don't know if you shoukd come out to Mr Heere."

"He told you that?"

"Sorry, he tells me everything. He can't keeo a secret from me, no matter how hard he tries." Michael said with a shy smile, " He blew a surprise party that Jenna tried to throw for me when I was officially one of the theatre kids club."

"Is Jeremy the guy you like?"

Michael nodded. "His dad knows about it too. Still lets me sleepover every weekend and whenever I please. He's cool guy."

"Does Jeremy know? About you?"

"Only that I am gay. About Jeremy, he is. He was scared to audition for a play out of fear of being called gay."

Evan only listened.

"He has no problem with gay things, but he himself, as Rich would put it is so deep in the closet he's in Narnia. Or he is only straight guy in theatre club, either way I ain't telling him about my crush any time soon."

"I BROUGHT REFRESHMENTS! Evan you are free to join us in watching Jack Black movies. We are starting with Tenacious D." Jeremy yelled out from the front door.

"You really love Jack Black." Evan smiled.

"Michael is obsessed with him." Jeremy said.

"Jeremy is obsessed with Keane Reeves" Michael said.

"Don't drag me."

Evan watched the two banter and it felt familiar. He decided to watch movies with them, and wasn't surprised at all when both Michael and Jeremy started quoting the scenes and singing along. After Jack Black's three movies they played three Keane Reeves's.

"It is only fair." Michael said as he put in the Matrix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How to procrastinate college 101

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [dorkofthefandom](https://dorkofthefandom.tumblr.com/)


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